When God Says “Return”

Genesis 16

Last Sunday, my pastor mentioned a verse in passing that suddenly stood out in a new way. It was a detail in the account of Hagar. You probably remember that Hagar was Sarai’s servant, and that Sarai had decided Hagar would be the one to bear the son God had promised, since Sarai herself had not been able to conceive. There is no doubt that this situation was wrong from the very beginning, and Sarai’s plan stemmed from not believing God would fulfill His promise, or at least not believing that He would fulfill it the way He had said He would.

God’s plan was for Abram and Sarai to have a son in their old age. But Sarai took things into her own hands. If her motive was really for Abram to have a child, you would think she would have welcomed Hagar’s pregnancy—after all Sarai’s plan had worked! But when we act contrary to what God says is right, the results never satisfy.

We are not told exactly what happened, but we know that Hagar began to openly despise Sarai, not necessarily in the modern sense of the word, which is often used to communicate hatred or loathing, but rather, she viewed Sarai as of little consequence or value.

As Sarai’s maid, she would likely have known of the long years of waiting, the many moments of disappointment and impatience, and yet, Hagar was able to conceive right away. In their culture, that would have boosted Hagar’s status and perceived value, while highlighting Sarai’s continued inability to conceive.

If Sarai had waited for God to fulfill His promise His way, she would have been spared the heartache and belittlement that came as her barrenness was highlighted and proclaimed day after day by the successful pregnancy of the rival she herself had created.

This is not to excuse her response, But I point out Sarai’s side of the situation to keep us from vilifying her without realizing that she was a sinner just like you and me. And as we are often tempted to do, she let her emotions drive her to a harsh and angry response. She “dealt hardly” with Hagar, until she finally decided to flee into the wilderness.

I don’t know how long Hagar was in the wilderness before the Lord spoke to her, but what He tells her is astounding, and completely opposite of what we might expect:

“And the angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur. And He said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go?

And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.

And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands. And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude. And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction. (vv.7-11)

When I read this, last Sunday, I was struck by the fact that God had seen and heard her in her affliction. And yet, He told her to go back—and not just to go back, but to go back and submit herself to Sarai.

Now, what I am about to say could be easily taken differently than I intend, so let me clarify up front: I do not believe this conversation between Hagar and the Lord means that it is wrong to leave or remove oneself from a situation in which there is abuse. Perhaps this is why God doesn’t give us specifics about what it meant when Sarai “dealt hardly” with Hagar. But I do think that God intends us to learn something about Him through this interaction.

Notice first that it was the change in Hagar’s attitude that initially incited Sarai’s harsh treatment. I have already pointed out that Sarai’s response was wrong—but was Hagar responding to the (albeit difficult) situation rightly?

From our modern perspective, it is easy to excuse Hagar’s response, and assume she was a completely innocent victim with no responsibilities at all in the situation. but that isn’t how God saw it. Throughout the Bible, it is plain that being sinned against does not give a child of God an excuse to sin. She had no control over how she had been treated, but she did have control over how she responded.

When God spoke to Hagar about the situation, He gave her a chance to verbalize what was going on, and then He dealt with her part of the situation. (Have you noticed that God usually deals with you about you, not about the other person?)

He was clear: she was to return—that was probably a shock to hear—but she wasn’t going to return with nothing changed.

You see, God wasn’t going to change the situation, He was going to change her. She was to go back, but with a new attitude. And that attitude was what would make the difference.

Our modern-day idea of Hagar probably doesn’t fit with what happened next. But after hearing God’s command, as well as His promises that she would indeed bear a son, here is what she did:

“And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after Him that seeth me?” v.13

She didn’t argue, she didn’t keep running away. Instead, she worshipped. She marveled that God Himself had seen her. And the next verse, along with as several passages later on indicate that she obeyed God, and went back. She had her son, and continued living with Abram and Sarai until Ishmael was at least in his teens.

We are not told what Hagar’s return looked like, or how she was treated, but given the fact that Ishmael’s mocking of Sarai’s son (Genesis 21) was the reason he and Hagar were eventually sent away tells me that Hagar’s attitude must have changed on her return, at least in some measure.

What’s the point of all this for you and me? We often come to God expecting Him to spare us from any difficulty, to instantly avenge any wrong committed against us. But Hagar’s encounter with the God who sees teaches us that sometimes, God answers those prayers for deliverance by changing us instead of our circumstances.

I think it was Elisabeth Elliot who said, “God will not protect me from anything that makes me more like Christ.” He does see our afflictions, He knows when we are unfairly treated or wronged—but God also knows that working all things together for good (Rom.8:28) often means allowing His child to stay in that situation long enough to learn and grow in the ways He knows we need.

So, dear Reader, is there a situation you’ve been asking to be excused from? If God is prompting you to leave, do it! But, if God says to wait, to work on your attitude instead, return to that situation like Hagar returned: knowing that God sees, and that He sent you there for a reason. Let the Holy Spirit define your attitude and actions, and you’ll be amazed at the difference He can make!

“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love” Ephesians 4:1-2