No is an Answer

A small girl rubbed her sleep-bleared eyes and stretched, before jumping out of bed and running to a chair beneath a mirror on the other side of the room. Today was the day! She had prayed the night before, and clambered up on the chair, filled with certainty at what she would see. But, to her dismay, a pair of dark brown eyes stared back at her out of the mirror. He didn’t answer!

But a still, small voice whispered somewhere in the depths of her disappointed heart:

Is not “no” an answer?

You may recognize that as the story of Amy Carmichael’s childhood experiment with prayer, when she, learning in church that God answers prayer, decided to pray that God would make her eyes blue. It happened when she was just a child, perhaps about four years old, but that experience taught her a valuable lesson she carried with her throughout her life: that God does answer prayer, but that sometimes the answer is “no.”

Have you ever had God give you a “no” in answer to a prayer?

I have been praying for something very specific on behalf of a friend, and recently found out that the answer to that specific thing was a resounding “no.”

I could have gotten mad and fumed at God, or pouted because He didn’t do what I asked Him to, but that is not the response of faith. The full response of faith would arguably be to praise or thank God for His sovereignty and wisdom in knowing that “no” was not the best answer, but I wasn’t quite there yet. Instead, I took the matter to the Lord again, this time with a simple, “Lord, please help”

I realized I had been asking for the easiest outcome, the plot twist with the least difficulty involved, but God had something different in mind. Easier is not always better.

The psalmist Asaph described the reaction of the flesh to a “no” answer:

“Will the Lord cast off for ever? doth His promise fail for evermore?

Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath He in anger shut up His tender mercies? Selah” (77:7-9)

When we pray and do not see the answer we were looking for, it can feel like God is not answering, that He has forgotten to be gracious to us. But that is as far from the truth as can be!

Romans 8:26 says,

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

We don’t always know the right answer, the specific thing God plans to do in any given situation. But God does, and the Holy Spirit interprets our requests with compassionate “groanings which cannot be uttered.” When He says “no,” or we do not see the answer we were hoping for, it does not mean God is far away or somehow less “good” than when He was giving us answers more in line with our own desires.

A heart of faith doesn’t need a “yes” to validate the character of God. It is the unchanging, unchangeable nature of God that helps guide us through those times when God’s answer isn’t what we wanted or expected.

 Asaph gives shows us this as he describes the turning point of his experience with God:

“And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember Thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all Thy work, and talk of Thy doings.

Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?

Thou art the God that doest wonders: Thou hast declared Thy strength among the people.” (77:10-14)

The entire rest of the psalm speaks of God’s greatness, and of the things He has already done for His people. It is one long reminder of the character, goodness, love and power of God.

Dear Reader, are you facing an answer from the Lord that is not what you wanted? Take some time to ponder the attributes of God, and those times when you have seen Him clearly work on your behalf. Then remember that “no” is an answer, and that you can trust it is not given capriciously, but with a good purpose yet to be seen. Let the disappointment or discouragement drive you to the Lord, and let Him comfort you and be your peace.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7